Thursday, February 11, 2010

The democratic restaurant

Imagine you go to a restaurant and see on the menu two choices
each for apertizers, main course and desert. You order the salad
for starter, then the steak and finally the fruit cocktail, a
nice white would go well with that you think. The waiter tells
you that you can only have either the salad, lasagne and fruit
salad or the garlic bread, steak and ice cream. Only 2 choices
on the menu. You pick the first option figuring you can swap
your main course with someone.

Unfortunately you don't actually get to pick which menu option
you get, you just get to vote for it. If you win then everyone
has to eat what you're eating, if you lose then you have to eat
what the majority ordered. You try to explain that you're lactose
intolerant but the waiter is too busy tallying votes. He doesn't
seem too concerned that half the diners don't bother. After the
vote goes against you, you decide to leave. Security stops you
and insists that you pay for a meal you did not order and have
not eaten. They won't let you leave until you do.

Looking at people's bills you notice that some are larger
than others, although everyone ate the same type and amount of food.
You eat up and leave vowing never to eat there again. The
security guards tell you not to eat at any other restaurant, else
they'll break your legs and that if you eat at home, you still
have to pay for the food here.

This is democractic dining, with as much freedom as voting for the
government allows. Bon appettit.


LibertyOrPizza said...

And in the USA, every table gets something different but it's never what they ordered. The blue tables eat what is put in front of them because they are told it is healthy. But the red tables complain, and the blue tables get annoyed because the red tables get more food and thus have no right to whine. A big fight breaks out, and after a big argument the restaurant splits in two.

The blue restaurant is super-happy that all the redneck whiners are gone. They are convinced that the red restaurant will suffer now that they have less food, but strangely the red restaurant seems to do fine.

Some of the patrons in the red restaurant are really annoyed that the management insists on them saying grace before every meal. It also bugs them that the management keeps insisting that the meat loaf was made that morning when it is clearly much older. These people drift between the two restaurants, not happy in either one. They talk wistfully of the menu that the restaurant used to have when it was first built, long ago. Everyone in the blue restaurant thinks they are hopelessly naïve and that the food is better than it ever was. Everyone in the red restaurant thinks they are going to hell.

LibertyorPizza said...

Hey Mick, so I just saw another one of those crap articles about state-by-state federal spending and it made me think of your democratic restaurant post. I entertained myself a bit with the idea, and thought you might find it funny. I know it could use some work, but eh, it was fun.