Andrew Johns a role model for our times.

A lot of people will say that Andrew Johns has set a bad example to our kids. Those little nippers who looked up to him have been given the wrong lessons. On the contray his behaviour on all occasions taught exactly the right lessons for those who wish to succeed in modern society.

Lesson one; If you like to take drugs and can avoid negative consequences for doing so, take drugs. Specifically take drugs that won't show up on the deeply intrusive drug tests you're
made to take. And take them on the off season wherever possible.

Lesson two; Do not complain about the deeply intrusive drug tests you are made to take for your high paying job. Never mention the fact that it's none of your employers buisness what you do in your leisure time. Never mention the fact that it's none of your fans buisness what you do in your leisure time. If asked about drug tests say they are neccesary to keep the sport clean. Do not ask why we need clean athletes more than clean taxi drivers, politicians, or sports adminstrators. Never make clear the distinction between testing for performance enhancing drugs and recreational drugs. Go along with the claim that the testing is all about keeping the sport fair, even though testing for coke, ecstasy or marijuana has nothing to do with this.

Lesson three; If asked about effects on drugs be very much against them, even though the effects of drugs on you are overwhelmingly positive. Never imply that there would be any situation where taking drugs is the right thing. Unless of course a doctor orders it, and even then if some blowhard cop or administrator says otherwise immediately fold like a deck chair.

Lesson four; If caught doing something some people think of as bad do not defend your behaviour in a principled manner. Make excuses that clearly show remorse, even if the behaviour hurt no one and was none of anyone else's buisness. If there is no evidence of any harm in your case do not explore the implications of this. Specifically do not say that there are people who take drugs who benefit from it and they should not be punished for this. Instead invent negative consequences you have suffered so will be pitied and therefore excused. It doesn't matter if there is no evidence for said drawbacks or considerable evidence against them in your case. Claims of harm to family life are especially effective even when all evidence is that your family life is fine.

Lesson five; An ounce of acceptability is worth a tonne of credibility. For instance confessing that you like drugs because they are fun would be bad no matter how obvious. "Confessing" you needed drugs to handle the pressure of being a football star, even when you say in the same statement that you mostly used in the off season where the pressure is much less is much better. Remember, it doesn't matter if the statement is credible, it matters whether people will pretend to believe it.

Lesson six; Always present your interaction with drugs as a "battle", a "struggle" or some other noun that implies that you have a real problem with drugs. Do this even if it's clear from your own statement that you can quit using drugs for months at a time with no negative consequences.

Lesson seven; Reform. Reform totally and never sin again. Do this as often as is needed.

The big lesson that we learn from the Andrew Johns debacle is that sports stars making sports stars role models makes no sense. A good role model would have been honest with reporters and with their fans. They would have said "You know what? It's none of your buiness if I take drugs. It's none of my buisness if you do. You should stop assuming that just because someone takes illegal drugs their lives are worse for it. You should stop assuming that the messages sent by people paid by powerful sporting bodies and through them powerful media organisations are correct. You should think for yourselves about whether what I did was wrong. And if you come to a different conclusion than your teacher, your parents or the cops that's OK. If you see someone doing something illegal and you approve of it, that's OK too.". Of course nothing of the kind will be said by anyone who wants to keep the approval of the mob, as all celebrities do. So don't use sporting stars as your role models. Use those who act in principled ways.